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International Women’s Day. The day, that like Christmas, rolls around once a year, and you are either pleasantly surprised by the fact you didn’t have to be the person organizing the catering at your own event; or like getting socks and undies on Christmas, you are once again gifted the gift of “ignorance is bliss” by co-workers who believe having a middle-aged white man as the keynote speaker at IWD suffices.
IWD is a mixed bag. In some ways I feel proud we can even hold such events, talk about such topics and go about our lives relatively unphased about the original 1960’s rules of quitting your job once you got married. On the other hand, talking isn’t enough, and we aren’t doing the doing, so sometimes IWD still feels like a stagnant day for a cause society has no intentions on improving.
As a woman who was raised in a home where being resilient and independent were what the foundations of everything else in life were built on, I often found myself being the minority in life. I never thought of myself as special because I was a female, or because I wanted to work in certain industries and do certain things with my life. I considered myself a human being who wanted experiences and independence.
I applied for jobs because I liked the job description, and I treated people how they treated me. Equality wasn’t a word commonly in my vocabulary until 20-year-old (and very naive me) woke up and smelled the roses. If you haven’t listened to our FIFO podcast yet we highly recommend that you do. It is a two-part series and will go into more depth on the inequalities we faced as women in the resource industry.
International Women’s Day to me represents a society highlighting what needs to improve but is too scared of change to make those improvements. In 2023 we have come leaps and bounds when it comes to accepting people for who they are and whatever their beliefs may be, but maybe we have run before we could walk?
Today on LinkedIn, it was the first IWD where I saw women standing up and speaking up about their poor experiences in the workplace, rather than posting the usual social media post about how great IWD is. A few things stood out to me today, and I think all of these things have collided in my mind and made me see how much work we still have to do around IWD, and what the actual meaning of it is.
On a LinkedIn post today, a woman posted a screenshot of a series of texts between her and a female co-worker. They made sarcastic jokes (obviously feeling deflated) that the keynote speaker for their IWD event at work, was the same man that 6 months prior has sexually assaulted one of them, and no disciplinary action was taken despite her best efforts. Imagine that. A world where the advocacy speaker is also assaulting the attendees.
Today a friend of mine was doing her return-to-work meetings when she was casually introduced, and the phrase “she could’ve been great” was used to describe her work ethic. This woman gave life (TWICE!), earned a degree, worked, and balanced being a present mother. Raised (probably) who is going to be the next prime minister of Australia, and still managed to make a fresh cooked meal for the entire household EVERYDAY.
This week a member of my friend group struggled with boundaries from family. Surprisingly, an older woman, who shamed her and expressed what a neglectful mother she was going to be if she returned to work while also trying to parent.
“How will you spend quality time with your husband and baby if you’re working?” she said.
This month I watched a girlfriend struggle (yet again) in the corporate world. Starting early and finishing late, sacrificing quality family / home time with her partner, because she knows tomorrow, she’ll be buried in her work if she doesn’t. This same friend works for a company who happily cancelled their International Women’s Day event, because it didn’t fit in with the managers meeting schedule.
We do all of the above PLUS more, and yet we still live in a society where your worth is based on the amount of money you make, or the car you drive, or how much you "grind" on the daily.
If as a man, you can read the above paragraph and still think to yourself, "yeah and?". You are part of the problem.
Effort goes a long way when it comes to equality in the workplace and the household, and we need everyone onboard having the necessary conversations. Cupcakes don't solve this one.
I found myself questioning what it meant to be a woman this week.
What does it mean to be equal?
How do I feel whole and “equal” when I don’t get paid the same in the job I work in?
How do I feel “equal” when my workplace shows no positive examples of women in leadership?
Why are we still settling for some fucking cupcakes and a keynote speaker, when we can literally hold down a career and excel in in it. Hold down a household and keep track of a very messy family calendar, and achieve any qualification or goal we stick our minds to. All whilst simultaneously riding the wave of navigating Karen’s 1950’s parenting tips and tricks, and not letting down the managers at work…. All of which are men who hold none of the above responsibilities and will never understand the mental load.
We can do so much! Yet still in this day and age, we are settling for the bare minimum.
I encourage all women today (and everyday) to take some time to self-reflect. To find the things you are proud of. Motherhood, your career, your ability to be resilient, your studies…whatever it is.
You deserve more than a quick thankyou at a routine meeting from old mate bob the CEO, despite the fact he wouldn’t know how to convert his PDFs without your “womanly touch”.
You deserve that annual bonus you would usually get, but have given up to raise a family; despite the fact you now work double hours and put up with triple the amount of shit and crying.
We often get asked via our question boxes on Girls Unhinged, what advice do you have for women wanting to do “X, Y, Z” job? And that is the easy stuff to answer. One thing I have found myself asking lately, is what advice do I have for women who don’t face any issues throughout their career when it comes in inequality. Let’s face it. There are women who never face the battles of inequality in their lives, what can they do?
My advice to you. Don’t stop being a woman.
Sounds silly, doesn’t it?
But it isn’t.
Don’t stop being unique, interesting, empowering and inclusive just because you have reached the top.
Don’t conform and become part of the problem, or part of the men’s club when you finally find yourself smashing your career aspirations.
Never stop advocating for those below you, next to you or above you, because no matter what, we are all in this fight for equality together. We need you.
To summarise, I find myself reflecting on the women in my life. Even the ones I haven’t met yet, and are probably my biggest hype girls on social media, and who I openly confide in.
Women are magical. We are messy, chaotic, resourceful, adaptable, and strong. We are also more vulnerable than ever, fighting for equality and recognition for our progress in society to date.
I’m lucky to have such a variety of women in my corner, who I often consider my family. These women have gotten me through grief, death, love, transitions, self-doubt and more.
Recently while going through some hard times, a friend said to me. “It doesn’t matter what you’re going through, if it hurts you, it’s the same to me”, it was in response to me comparing what she was going through VS what I was going through and that my situation wasn’t that bad.
These are the type of women you need in your life, because let me tell you, when International Women’s Day is constantly overshadowed by “what about men’s day?” and “it's not all men” and “we are basically equal, its 2023”; you need your own special type of hype girls to celebrate life’s highs (and lows) with.
I am so glad I have mine.
I hope Girls Unhinged can be yours.
Happy International Women’s Day. Don’t ice any fucking cakes, or setup any events this week boo. They are supposed to be celebrating you.
Don't ever stop being a woman.
xx
]]>Megan is here to shed some light on eloping, how to stick to your values and beliefs while still being respectful to parents. How to ensure you look back on this day with happiness, not regrets that you went too far the other way and lost the meaning behind your event for the sake of others.
Enjoy the read xo
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How to make your wedding day about you.
Hello Girls Unhinged family! Its been a while since a blog post was done but alas we are here and hopefully posting a little more regularly.
2022 was a busy year for us at Girls Unhinged HQ, new houses, marriage, and a pregnancy announcement. As some of you may remember Megan and her (now husband) Nathan tied the knot back in December and did so in an intimate elopement ceremony in Perth, WA.
A question we have been asked a lot what how, in 2023 where our generation are typically steering away from the traditional weddings and ways of life did, we manage to have a wedding that aligned with our values; but kept our family happy.
Eloping… many things come to mind when the word elope is throw around, I know that it did for us. When Nathan and I met we discussed marriage. I was surprised to hear that marriage really wasn’t on Nathans radar. We always spoke about kids, jobs, and houses; but when we spoke about marriage his stance on it was that it doesn’t make someone love you more. If something isn’t going to improve or change the dynamic of your relationship, what was the point?
Fair point right.
For me (Megan) marriage also wasn’t something I wanted to cause a big song and dance about. I have never found myself looking at magazines, looking at bridal dresses or thinking about my bridesmaids, thinking about speeches and everything associated with a wedding. In fact, now I think about it.. I think all that caused a lot of anxiety for me. The only thing I found myself browsing on a regular basis (even when I was single) was the type of engagement ring I wanted ha-ha.
At the beginning of 2021 there was a huge shift in our relationship. I was diagnosed with stage 4 Endometriosis, and pelvic floor issues. I was given an intensive laparoscopy and we had to have the conversation we thought we had a little more time to sit on… babies.
From here a lot of things naturally progressed quite quickly. I think on reflection that’s the thing I love most about Nathan. Nothing in our relationship has ever been forced. Everything moved naturally over the years, and although quick… I couldn’t picture it any other way. At the beginning of 2022, after a wicked valentine’s day sale we went to our local shops for what I recall being a casual Kmart visit. 45 minutes later I walked by the window of a local jeweller, and I fell in love with an engagement ring. I tried it on and the rest is history. Nathan loved it, I loved it and within a 10-minute time frame we walked out with an engagement ring on order.
The concept of marriage to me, changed when we decided to try for a baby. I wanted marriage not because I thought it would make Nathan love me more, or because it looks good on paper, or because it makes things any more official. I wanted it because to me, once we had a child; it was a way of us being a collective team. Having the same surname as my soul mate and child made me feel like we were a family, one that I have longed for, for a really long time. For Nathan I think if I hadn’t pushed for a wedding, he would’ve been quite happy to have things remain as they are, which in hindsight there’s nothing wrong with that. I just loved the idea of stealing his last name and being someone’s wifey.
Eloping was important to use for many reasons, but mainly because we both collectively knew marriage to us wasn’t a fancy party, or ceremony and for that reason it was important it was small and intimate. As previously mentioned, marriage wasn’t a huge deal to either of us, and therefore putting pressure on ourselves to spend ten’s of thousands on a wedding for people we frankly never see; just didn’t make sense and was never going to make the cut.
Venue & Vendors
When I think of eloping I think of anything that Is classed with “non-traditional” rather than the old fashioned concept of “running away” to get married. So to be those of you that had an engagement party, then surprised guests by having a surprise wedding.. you eloped. Those of you like us who had immediate family present only, you also in my eyes eloped. I think its important to remember that if you google search eloping now, that is the consensus. So if you tell people you are eloping and they make you sound like a bad egg for running off into the wilderness to get married without being inclusive of others you can tell that Karen actually sis…. That isn’t it!
Below are the amazing people who made our day a special one:
Perth Registry Office – Ok, so this was probably my only mistake throughout all my planning (so not bad I guess). We thought this was the official Births, Deaths, and Marriages (BDM) office. We thought you could get married and then walk away with your marriage certificate, but we got the wrong place. If I had my time again I wouldn’t marry here. The service was appalling, and I think if I wasn’t simultaneously 20 weeks pregnant, I would have been bridezilla. We paid $450.00 to be married here by a celebrant, however I will go into more detail over an Instagram live why I would do things differently next time.
Pagoda Hotel & Spa – This place was amazing, the rooms were older but renovated, had an amazing spa, and amazing customer service. The food was also ON POINT. Which is what I needed later in the day after the ceremony. Our parents and siblings all went back here and booked rooms for the night, so we ate, had drinks, and then went back to our hotel rooms to sleep. Nathan and I then got up nice and early the following morning to spend the day at Rottnest, everyone else enjoyed a sleep in and some well deserved buffet breakfast options. The deluxe rooms here with a spa (which is was we were kindly gifted by my mum) average at about $220 - $350 for the night depending on how early you make your booking. I say, even for $350 its an amazing Perth City accommodation option.
Outfits – Our fits honestly were easily accessible from mainstream stores (LOVE THAT!) and we loved them. Nathans suit attire was from Connor, if you are anywhere in Australia, you will know all about this franchise. For his pants, jackets, shirt, shoes, cuff links and all other accessories; he overtook me in the price department at $700.00. I will say though, someone fitted him specifically and he ordered it in tailored and it arrived in 4 days. I think that’s awesome service and if you are in the need for a good quality suit that you’ll wear over and over again id highly recommend them prior to looking at an actually “suit store”. The best part is after the initial outlay for the suit, their dress shirts (especially on sale) can be as low as $20.00. So, you really do get bang for buck and can outfit repeat as much as you like!
My dress was a satin slip number from Petal & Pup, and my shoes were a simple but elegant choice from Bellini. Now, I will say. Non-pregnant me would have thrived. 20 weeks pregnant me did not LOL! The weather on our wedding day was about 37 degrees and it was humid! I was also suffering with low blood pressure quite badly at this point in my pregnancy, so I was randomly fainting (a lot!).
The dress came in at a total of $109.00 and my shoes came in at $89.00 (from memory). I also had my makeup done which I NEVER do. I am so glad I trusted my gut and did it because let me tell you… every part of my body was sweating that day, but my face DID.. NOT.. BUDGE. So a massive shoutout to Makeup By Katy Wood for my look on my special day. My Makeup came to $120.00, and honestly, I could’ve gone to Rottnest the following day still looking snatched.
Finally… my photographer
Moments By Adele – Anyone who is Perth based NEEDS to hire this woman for all your special life moments. Baby showers, weddings, elopements, birthdays, newborn shoots. WHATEVER. I couldn’t have coordinated the day without her, mainly because after nearly fainting the first time I literally had zero energy and she was able to know what I wanted and put things in motion for me.
We wanted dark, moody, vintage / street vibe photos and boy did she come through. They were stunning! The photos in this blog are examples and I have many, more where they came from. I’ll go into this more in a live also, because she deserves to have a mention of her own! This blog doesn’t do her justice!
While you ponder your thoughts, and ask yourself is elopement for you; browse the vendors and stay tuned for an upcoming live this week for further, more in depth details; along with an opportunity to note down any questions and pick my elopement brain.
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Thank FUCK it's Friday!
I don’t know about everyone else, but I can’t believe it’s almost the end of March... it feels like the weeks have all rolled into one big mess.
]]>Thank FUCK it's Friday!
I don’t know about everyone else, but I can’t believe it’s almost the end of March... it feels like the weeks have all rolled into one big mess.
Errands to run, housework to do, laundry to do, meals to make, people to see, little ones to look after- it all adds up and sometimes it becomes too much. You lay down at the end of the day and instead of relaxing you’re creating a to-do list in your head.
It would be totally normal to feel exhausted right now, which is what I’m feeling. I woke up this morning and my brain screamed at me “I can’t do this today!”
We get so used to “pushing through” that we forget it’s OKAY for us to take a break. Whether that’s a day off from work, or even just saying no to social events so that you can spend some time looking after yourself.
Everyone needs a break, the hardest part is realising that and then giving yourself the time.
Hit pause.
Have a nap.
Switch off.
Look after yourself.
It doesn’t help when you're surrounded by the hustle culture, where it seems to be a competition of who is the busiest. Who had the least amount of sleep? Who hasn’t stopped? Who hasn’t had a day off this week?
What’s the prize for any of that? Being tired as fuck?
No thanks!
I’m happy when I get days where I don’t have much, where I can be a couch potato and give myself the rest I deserve. Don’t let people make you feel guilty for it.
Remember: Laziness is not the same as inactive. Being inactive is you giving yourself permission to have a break.
Give yourself a break physically, mentally, emotionally and from technology.
Below are a few tips of ways to give yourself a break for each of those categories, and I use quite a few of these depending on what I need a break from.
Physically:
Mentally:
Emotionally:
I understand that we’re all busy adults, and some of these tips won’t work for everyone. That’s okay; but find the things that do work for you and implement them.
Obviously at the end of the day you-do-you, but hear me out. You probably look after everyone else in your life, so why don’t you look after yourself?
We’re only human, give yourself the time and space for self-care.
As always, we’re happy to have a chat about anything, and our inbox is always open.
Much love from the GU gals xx
]]>Let’s be honest, people masturbate. WOMEN masturbate.
Maybe not everyone, and that’s okay. But if you think garlic bread is good… you need to try an orgasm!
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Let’s be honest, people masturbate. WOMEN masturbate.
Maybe not everyone, and that’s okay. But if you think garlic bread is good… you should definitely try treating yourself to an orgasm!
Growing up this wasn’t something that was talked about in my friend group. It was the secret act that my girlfriends and I were probably all doing, but not mentioning. I know most of us were reading Dolly and Girlfriend magazine too, so we would’ve read about it at some point.
(Who remembers those magazines and the sealed sections?!)
It wasn’t until I was around 17 / 18 that it was bought up in conversation, surprisingly by a male friend of ours. Chill, it wasn’t creepy or seedy. Just more curiosity from both sides on what each of us was doing.
The conversation didn’t last long, but it made me feel normal knowing other people were out there also giving themselves a bit of self-love. It was this moment where I thought "Oh okay! I’m not a gross weirdo touching myself. This is normal. Cool.”
After that one conversation it dropped off the list of topics though, and that’s fine, some people don’t like to talk about it.
Then sex toys come on the scene, or I became aware of them at least. I was really intrigued by them, and I so badly wanted to know if my friends were using them. I wanted to talk to them, get their advice and opinions.
Were the toys good?
What toys were best?
Was it weird using them?
Did they use them solo or with their partner?
Was it awkward buying them? (This was when online shopping wasn’t as big as it is now)
Unfortunately, no one in my friend group was talking about them, and I’ll admit I was too shy to ask.
As I moved through life, and jobs, I started meeting new people. From here I made new friends and these conversations happened naturally. I was meeting people outside my small-town circle, and I genuinely enjoyed being part of these conversations. I learnt so much!
It’s a different type of bonding experience when you’re able to talk about masturbation and sex with your friends. Learning each other’s stories gives you information and insight you might not find out by yourself. You can empathize and laugh about the things that you've experienced.
These conversations also help us to normalize it, because let’s fucking normalize masturbation for the ladies! If you don’t know how to pleasure yourself, how are you going to help your partner do that for you?
It’s also a fantastic stress reliever 😉
This goes together with what Megan, and I are wanting to do with Girls Unhinged. Not only to bring our cute ass toy to you, but to create that community and safe space for us all.
Let us know below how masturbation and sex has progressed for you, or if you see this post on our socials feel free to jump in there and comment!
Much love from GU xx
P.S. We love this picture of Jade Mead with the Black Widow so much! What a babe!
Use JADE10 for 10% off the Black Widow ;)
]]>We're just a couple of girls from Western Australia, and we're so excited to finally be putting our long wished for vision out into the world.
The idea for Girls Unhinged started back in 2018 when we were living the FIFO life and dealing with so much shit, that when we look back at it now we're not sure how we managed to come out the other side whole.
While it was great in a lot of ways, there is a dark and harsh side to working up there, especially in a such a male dominated industry. It can wear you down.
There's so many issues we'd love to talk about in other posts, because we know we're not alone, and we want others to know they're not alone either. For now we'll say that it opened our eyes to a lot of inequality, double standards and hard truths.
GU originally started as the idea for a podcast, and since that moment it has taken so many different twists and turns to finally land us where we are now. Our dream is to help change the stigma around female self pleasure, speaking up and loving yourself.
Our small business is starting out with our gorgeous little toy, but we'll be branching out into so many other things that we're excited to share with you all in the future.
Thanks for joining us xx
]]>admin@girlsunhinged.com
PO BOX 3551
SUCCESS LPO, WA 6964
Western Australia